Another Doctor, Another Dehumanizing Experience

Well I tried a new primary care doctor yesterday and it didn't go well. Yet another dehumanizing experience. This doc wanted me to justify why I was taking the medications I take. I don't mind explaining who prescribed my medications, how it came about, what the medication does for me and how long I've been on them. I'm not on any opiates. All of the medications I'm currently on have a direct benefit to my quality of life. The dosage was dictated to me by specialists and I'm just looking to maintain the status quo. I have nothing to be ashamed of and nothing to hide so discussing them with a new doc is no problem.

But I took offense to her response to all of my medications. She told me that I'm not using any of my medications as they are designed. She said it is all outside of her comfort zone because she is an internist (the website had her listed as a family doc so I was surprised to learn that was incorrect) and when people are presenting with conditions that require that kind of care she likes to defer to specialists. 

I explained that all of these meds were originally prescribed by specialists and that I'm just looking to follow their plan and maintain the current level of benefit. She told me that she wants me to go back to see all the specialists so that she can develop a relationship with them and they can coordinate my care. I do actually want to see a migraine specialist again to tweak my rescue meds and begin a relationship so that when this new preventative hits the market in a few years I can give it a try. But there is zero benefit to going back to these other specialists because I'm currently on a treatment plan that works. The rest is up to me. 

She seriously wants me to spend hundreds of dollars and waste precious time and energy going to specialists so SHE can feel comfortable with my medications. If I go to all of them every year then I don't need her at all. They can just provide the prescriptions. But that not how this is supposed to work. If I don't need ongoing care I don't need the specialists anymore. I should be able to continue my care with my primary care doctor. 

Another thing she did that bothered me is that she asked me if I had filled out a record release form. I answered. Then a couple minutes later she asked again. I answered. Then she asked again. I answered. She continued to ask me this same questions over and over throughout our appointment. She clearly wasn't paying attention, which makes me wonder what else didn't she hear me say. Then I wonder what she put in my chart. Was that correct? Did she give me some negative label that will follow me any time I see a doc in that system?

Clearly, this is not the doctor for me. I'm trying to simplify my medical care not complicate it and spend more money on it. I just want to cry. I feel so defeated by the continued failure to find a good primary care doctor. What I wouldn't give to be rid of them entirely. I wish I didn't need medications or doctors. I wish I could just have a yearly exam and go on about my business. I wish there weren't so many shitty doctors. I wish the good ones weren't so hard to find. I wish we could have more say in our treatment. I wish there was a way to interview a doctor or otherwise determine if they would be a good fit prior to making an appointment.