Whimsy Wednesday

If you are traveling to celebrate Thanksgiving with loved ones this year, be sure to remember this sage travel advice from Bugs Bunny:

Have a great day!

Packing Up Again

It's that time AGAIN. With moving day just under 3 weeks away the big pack up has begun. Shelves and drawers are emptying out. Pictures are coming off the walls, leaving behind lonely nails. Moving containers are taking over our living space as I slowly fill them with our belongings.

I'm doing what I can to pace myself through the packing but it's a big job so no matter what I will end up overdoing it. Already a muscle spasm has set into my right shoulder and neck.

After months of anticipation, the packing has made the upcoming move feel more real. It has become the light at the end of a very long, frustrating tunnel. My lengthy to-do-list is almost complete. With that, the excitement that was so present at the start of this process is beginning to take hold again.

This move is going to be my 6th in the last 7 years. I'm weary of it all: the work, the stress, the expenses, learning my way around a new area. Not to mention the severe disruption of my routine, which always makes managing my symptoms and treating my pain more difficult. The only comfort in it this time is knowing that it will be our last move for a very very long time. I can't wait to settle in and start growing some roots.

Some Thoughts on Luck

I've been thinking a lot about luck over the past couple of weeks.

Highly successful people tend to say things like, "you make your own luck", which basically discounts the existence of luck entirely. Implying that your success, or lack of success, in life is due entirely to your actions. Even though I believe that we all have the ability to impact the direction of our lives, I totally reject the idea that luck has no role. In fact, I believe luck plays a rather large role.

Luck, good or bad, begins with the family you are born into. There is no way to deny that our access to education, opportunity, nutrition, nurturing, support and even love is largely dependent on the parents who created us and each of these elements are crucial to a child's development. Being born to educated, loving family with a comfortable income is lucky. Being born to a drug addicted prostitute is decidedly unlucky. We have no say in who our parents are and what genes they give us. Being born healthy and robust is lucky. Being born with a physical or mental disability is unlucky. Both situation are completely beyond our control and have a huge impact on an individuals life.

While people can overcome terribly unlucky disadvantages from their start (Barak Obama and Oprah come to mind), their ability to do so is also PARTLY attributable to luck. The ones who are able to overcome are born with the right kind of personality type, they are specially equipped with focus, drive and are internally motivated toward a specific direction. Not everyone is born with the ability to overcome an unlucky start and that is not always their fault. Sure some people are lazy, some are cons but I believe most people are doing the best they can with the hand they have been dealt.

I'm not at all suggesting that luck is the only determining factor in our lives but I am suggesting that it is a major player. I get so frustrated when people try to blame the poor and the sick for being sick and poor. Doing so makes it easy to disregard our collective responsibility to take care of the disadvantaged in our society, easier to not see the humanity we all share. This blame serves to make us all more vulnerable than we already are.

Whimsy Wednesday

This is my all time favorite clip from the Animal Planet show Bad Dog. Here is the story of Lucky:

Have a great day!

#Migraines and Muscle Relaxers

From South Park

The first neurologist I was treated by, when my migraines turned chronic, started me on a muscle relaxer called Bachlofen from Watson Pharmaceuticals. Taking this drug interrupted the 24/7 migraine that I had for a few months prior.

You see, my muscles have been out of control for a very long time. They are constantly active and tense even when I'm sleeping. By taking this wonderful drug my body was forced to relax and that stopped my muscles from retriggering a migraine before my prior migraine had a chance to conclude. Plus, calming my muscles helped me to sleep at night. Despite many years, many doctors, many other drugs, nothing else has had the kind of impact that this particular drug from this particular manufacturer has had.

Then one day Watson Pharmaceuticals decided to stop making Bachlofen. I tried not to freak out. I tried fruitlessly to seek help from my then PCP. But for more than a year now I've been taking Bachlofen from various other manufacturers and it is clearly not working. I have more discomfort and spasms in my muscles. I frequently wake up sore from all the muscle activity that is going on while I'm "sleeping". I frequently have nights when I can't get to sleep or I wake up in the middle of the night and can't get back to sleep because I can't quiet my muscles.

I'm still better off with the Bachlofen than without but my quality of life has suffered because of this change. I've frequently thought that if I could just find a doctor who had a better understanding of these drugs and could help me find another muscle relaxer that could work as well as my old Watson Bachlofen that I would be all set.

Then it occurred to me that I might be able to actually impact my muscle tension on my own through meditation, and relaxation practices. Obviously, this is not a solution that will be easy or quick. I had abandoned my earlier practices of meditation and relaxation because I was struggling with it so much. But I still believe in the power of the mind and I still believe that I can get better if I stick with it.

I love the idea of being in control of my muscles. That really is the goal here. Obtaining that goal will certainly be difficult as my muscle issues predate my chronic migraines (perhaps it even contributed to transforming them from episodic to chronic). Dare I even dream of a day when I no longer even need a muscle relaxer?

Yes.

The Hormonal Beast

My body has been invaded by some unseen beast, who has been torturing me since late Sunday morning. This is not the usual torture from my chronic migraines or fibromyalgia. I suspect the culprit here is actually hormones. My skin is crawling, I'm too hot despite the cold late-Fall weather, there is this extreme discomfort that has permeated every bit of me and no matter what I do I can't escape it.

This isn't the first time my body has had this experience. In fact it has happened several times in the past year. Part of me just wants to scream - I mean come on - don't I have enough physical challenges to deal with?!? Another part of me just wants to crawl into a ball and hibernate until it passes. While I recognize that neither are productive options, I simply don't know how to manage this particular beast.

I suppose a trip to the doctor would be a prudent move to see if it really is a hormonal issue and figure out what can be done about it. Although, right now I'm still feeling some intense doctor fatigue so this is the last thing I want to actually do. Right now I'm just full of apologies to my poor hubby who has to deal with me in this state.

Patients For A Moment Blog Carnival

The November Patients For A Moment Blog Carnival is now available. This month the topic is: What do you do when you can't keep up. Check out all the great posts.