A Changing Wind

I have been dealing with my constant migraines now for more than 4 years and in that time my doctors have given me all kinds of medications and tests. Now with the added trouble of my endometriosis I feel like my body is attacking me. I'm tired of feeling bad all the time. I'm tired of the heaviness from dealing with all these health problems every day. Then it hit me...the only thing I have not tried is a dramatic change in my diet. Don't get me wrong, I've made changes like cutting out alcohol and msg but basically it is the same as ever. No, what I need to do is rethink my entire approach to food.

The messages have been coming at me from several angles...talk of cutting sugars, simple carbs, increasing the good food. I even know some people who live on these sorts of diets and tout the wonderful benefits. For whatever reason I never really considered it...until a few days ago. Perhaps if I really modified the foods I eat every day my body would not be so angry all the time. If there is even a small chance that I could feel better I really need to try it. I've given drugs the same consideration...

This is going to be tough road. I can't even wrap my mind around the concept of changing my taste buds and craving. In an effort to set myself up for success, I've decided to start off slowly. I'm going to spend the month of March introducing myself to some new foods and new recipes. I'll still carry on eating some of the usual foods as I play with the new stuff. Then in April I hope to make the new foods the majority with some of the old thrown in for good measure. Assuming that my body responds positively to the new foods the hope for May is to switch over to an entirely vegan diet. YIKES!!!

As I sit here, March eve, I'm a bit nervous about the very difficult challenge ahead. At the same time I'm also feeling hopeful about possibly feeling better. Honestly, I long to reconnect with myself. Somehow all the pain and ickiness has overpowered my inner voice.

Overwhelmed

I'm overwhelmed today. I'm about a month out from surgery now and the incisions have healed over. For the past four years, as I've been quite wrapped up in dealing with my migraines, my endometriosis has been ravaging my insides. Now it is proving to be a rather large distraction from and complication to all this pain in my head. Just what I needed, right?

It seems the endometriosis invaded my right ovary, growing inside it and ultimately stretching it beyond it's capacity. There is sat, leaking aged blood into my pelvic cavity. So now, after having the 6 cm mass removed and learning just how extensive the condition has become I am gearing up to deal with the next step - treatment. Here is where I'm stuck, quite overwhelmed.

The treatment options preclude kids, but not treating precludes kids, but I'm also still dealing with the migraine stuff. Symptoms are getting confused now. All I know is that I don't feel well and I'm overwhelmed.

I'm hanging onto the knowledge that some day in the near future (maybe even tomorrow) I will move beyond this feeling and into the more pragmatic option consideration.