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Well, it's been a while since my last post - practically a week. I've wanted to blog but have either been too busy, too tired or just at a loss for words every day since my last post. There has been so much to do to get ready for the funeral events. Plus there has been so much family around. It has been quite a week indeed. At times it's been incredibly stressful, at times a lot of fun, at times tiring, but it was busy the entire time.
Just about an hour ago the last of the family members left to go back home. My husband and I went over to have brunch with the group before they had to leave. As we made our way I started to feel a little lost. Since we've been settled into our apartment here in St. Louis I've had much to do between just regular family stuff, home business, and grandma being in and out of the hospital. But now...well I don't know what now.
I'm so sad that I no longer have my grandma here. I'm sad to see all my wonderful family going back home. I'm sad that I don't have a job to help me transition back to feeling normal. I fear that now with grandma gone the family won't gather all together again. Today I just feel sad.
Tomorrow I hope to begin feeling more normal again. I will go out to visit with my husband's grandma, get some much needed laundry done and hopefully start to get things organized around the house again. Maybe if I can manage to keep busy for a while it won't seem so suddenly quiet. As for the rest of today, well I think I'll just let myself be sad.
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Take your time. It make take some time before you feel "Normal" again. It has been just over 10 months since I lost my mom and I still don't feel normal. i am used to the silence now, but I am still very sad. Sending prayers and hugs your way.
ReplyDeleteHeather
I'm so sorry to hear about your mom Heather. Perhaps Normal just needs to be redefined.
ReplyDeleteFeeling normal after a death in the family can take awhile. It seems I just recover from one, and another one goes.
ReplyDeleteSpending time with your hubby's gramma may be just the thing you need! She can tell you stories about him when he was little ;)
You will find something to occupy your time and thoughts. I bet St. Louis is an awesome city to explore. Just don't overdo it!
Normal has changed since I lost my younger sister in July 2008; I have not been able to regain that joy in living that had pervaded my existence until Teri died unexpectedly. Her death was the beginning of a series of deaths which has taken my best friend, my favorite patient and my younger brother too.
ReplyDeleteJust take things one step at a time. Blessings, Migrainista.
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