A Short Absence

Just a quick update: my computer died on me or at least the battery did. I'm anticipating it may take 2 or 3 weeks to resolve this issue because I am also trying to sort things out with my back and finding a new endometriosis doctor. I won't be able to do much if any blogging until I get back up and running.

Just wanted to let you all know so there is no worry. I look forward to being back in touch soon.

My Migraine Tell Revealed

After several years of living with chronic migraines, I discovered that I have a migraine tell. You know, something I do when the pain is ramping up or when I'm simply in bad shape. I tend to do it more when I'm also trying to hold it together for other people so they don't know just how bad I'm doing. You know how it is, you are out with people and suddenly you find yourself feeling worse and worse but you continue to smile and try to hold a basic conversation while implementing a graceful exit.

So here is my secret migraine tell: I run a finger, usually my middle finger, along an eyebrow.

I think the impulse to do this is stems from all the eye pain, pressure and photophobia I experience prior to and during a migraine attack. Plus, it might also be a subconscious way to sooth and acknowledge the pain I'm having despite the show I'm putting on for others.

I often question the wisdom of pretending, for anyone's sake, that I'm not suffering as much as I am. I do it because that's the impulse I have. I don't know what the right or wrong thing is to do, but this is what I do.

Do you have a migraine tell? I would love to hear about it.

Whimsy Wednesday

If you've ever shared your life with a dog you know how delightful and fun they can be. Here is a little sample of dogs being dogs for your pleasure.

Have a great day!!

Another Disappointing New Doctor Appointment

So I had an appointment with a potential new primary care doc last week. So here is how it went:

- I like the gal who works in the office, unfortunately it is just her and the doc in that office so they are very busy. However I did overhear that they are trying to hire a 2nd office person.

- It became obvious almost immediately that she didn't understand migraines, forcing me to field all manner of asinine questions, like "did you know there are lots of preventative medications available that you should try?" Gosh, what a thought, after 10 years that never occurred to me or a single other doctor I've ever seen to try a preventative. How about asking me what I've tried instead. That might be a more respectful approach.

- She then tried pushing Amitriptyline on me to prevent my migraines. I explained that I had tried it before and not only was it ineffective but it also caused a couple of troubling side effects. She said I should try it again because sometimes after a few years something that didn't work will suddenly become effective. I told her I wasn't interested. What I didn't say was that she was never going to be allowed to treat my migraines because she is not at all qualified. THEN, in the contest of talking about my fibromyalgia, she again suggested I try Amitriptlyline because it was effective for treating that. I again declined. She said I should think about it and I have. Trouble is, the more I think about it the more angry I get that she wasn't listening to me.

I'm trying to be understanding, after all she is a doctor and when someone like me presents with all kinds of medical issues the natural reaction is to try to treat the conditions. But all I wanted her to do was help me with my back and help look after the big picture. I just want her to be a PCP - leave the rest to the specialists and myself. BUT at the same time, she was making suggestions without asking any basic questions about what I've tried and where things stand. AND she clearly wasn't listening or being respectful about the things I was saying.

All of this has me longing for my old doc, my wonderful old doc of 3 months who totally got it and just wanted to be a great PCP for me. I deserve to have a great doc like that for more than 3 months.

Worst of all, I'm still in limbo with my back. She ordered an MRI and the office gal said I needed to call my insurance first to see where I can go. When I did that, I was also told that I needed to get a prior authorization so I would have to call the doc back and have them call the insurance company. So I did that, but I was forced to leave a message with the doc's office because the single office gal was busy when I called. That was Tuesday morning and I have not heard anything since. She may have gotten my message and started the 2 week long process of prior authorization or maybe this isn't a priority. Who knows. Maybe this isn't the right place for me.

Whimsy Wednesday - Bulldog Rolling Down a Hill

I just love this video of Juju the bulldog. Apparently he has discovered the joy of rolling down a hill. Can't help but remember doing it as a child.

Have a great day!!

3 Unpatriotic Things People do to Celebrate the 4th of July

The 4th of July is the day we set aside to celebrate our independence. No holiday is more patriotic, right? Sure - in theory. The trouble is, we tend to do some very unpatriotic things around the 4th, all in under in the name of patriotic celebration.

Here are 3 annoying and unpatriotic things people do to celebrate the 4th of July:

1. Using the flag as a pattern to be plastered on anything and everything. There are laws regulating how a flag is to be used and not used. This holiday is full of cheap plastic crap with our nation's flag adorning it - paper/plastic plates and cups, napkins, various clothing items or shoes, plus all manner of party decor items from banners to silly hats, noise makers and straws. Worst of all, you can find our flag pattern on firework packing to be blown up. These days we are very quick to throw that flag pattern on just about anything and call it patriotic fun. Almost all of it is illegal. Don't worry, nobody is paying attention.

2. The vast majority of these at-home fireworks are made in China. Yep, our national holiday of homegrown pride is big business for China. Why are we celebrating our nation's independence by going into our backyards and lighting our Chinese made dangerous explosives that we don't really have any training for or real control over? Even better, our yards, fields, sidewalks and streets then get littered with spent bottle rocket sticks and other such explosive remnants. Nothing says happy birthday nation like littering, right?

3. Perhaps the most unpatriotic thing we do this time of year is actually allowing at-home fireworks at all. Assholes all over the country spend hours drinking and celebrating with family/friends and then, when it starts to get dark, they start setting them off. So from around 9:00pm until about 2:00 or 3:00am (sometimes even later) entire neighborhoods sound like war zones - and this goes on for days. We are like many households across the country, who are negatively impacted by this. For us it's because we have a dog who, like many other pets, is terrified of the booms. But it's not just our beloved pets, but also other wild animals, people with dementia, babies and small children. Still not seeing how this disruption is unpatriotic - what about the war veterans and other victims of violence who are suffering with PTSD? What do you suppose we are putting them through? I firmly believe we don't have the right to torture one another and the animals of this country for our celebrations. Most cities put on a display so if fireworks are required for your holiday celebration then that is the only place it should be allowed.  

These at-home fireworks are actually illegal where we live but that doesn't stop anybody from doing them. They are still sold all over and used all over. We called the police on one house in our neighborhood about 1:30am today but most of the time we can't tell where it's coming from. I feel so helpless to protect our dog from the terror and hubby and myself from the long sleepless nights that accompany this holiday. This is not good for migraines.