Resiliency

This month's Headache Blog Carnival topic is about building resiliency. I don't know how much wisdom I have to offer right now as I am still in the midst of climbing out of a tough beat down over the summer. That's not going to stop me from attempting to offer up some ideas that I've used before and am currently using.

First I need to share a bit of my philosophy here. I believe negative emotions are just as important, valid and natural as positive emotions. Every now and then you see one of these people on TV, peddling a book or something. Talking about the power of being positive. They will claim that they wake up every day excited about what the day will hold and whenever someone asks "how are you?" they respond sincerely and enthusiastically that they are fantastic. I believe this sort of thinking is unhealthy both for the person and for those around them. It is not possible to be great all the time. If you are great all the time it is because you are stuffing your "negative" emotions of anger, frustration, sadness and such. Meanwhile you are projecting that everything is fantastic and that make those around you actually feel bad. What's wrong with me that sometimes I get sad or angry?

These "negative" emotions are natural and human. We don't need to train ourselves to ignore, stuff or otherwise discount these emotions. We need to honor and experience them because they serve an important purpose in life. Then we need to have the tools to bring ourselves out of these emotions and move forward. Thoughts and feelings certainly influence us as they are remarkably powerful. We just shouldn't get stuck in the negative ones. But that doesn't mean we shouldn't experience them.

A big part of resiliency, in my life, is in honoring these tough times. I like to give myself time to sit in it. Then I'll like start to work through them verbally with people I'm close to and internally with thoughts. I talk about it, blog about it and think about it. Then, with the aid of time, I'm give myself permission to move on. This is a quick and easy process for small things like the stupid pharmacy messing up my Rx AGAIN. The process can also be very slow and difficult like when I had to adjust to living with chronic pain.

The letting go is the toughest part for me. Honestly I don't even understand how it works. Maybe that's why it can be so hard. Any suggestions?