I Tried Pot

Quite unexpectedly, the opportunity to try pot fell in my lap. Long story short, it turns out my brother-in-law has a vaporizer and some product that he rarely uses. He offered to let me try it and since it's something I've wanted to do for a long time I took him up on the offer.

In my head the perfect situation for trying pot to manage my chronic migraines and fibromyalgia symptoms would be as follows:
1. To have a doctor with the expertise to prescribe a very specific kind of pot for my conditions.
2. To have a legal dispensary nearby where I could get that prescription filled with full confidence that I'm getting what I'm promised.
3. To be able to get this prescription in the form of baked goods or candy so I wouldn't have to smoke.
4. That insurance companies would recognize these pot laced baked goods just like they do any other prescription drug.

This day is very far away for those of us living in Missouri and certainly isn't how things turned out. I did like the idea of using a vaporizer instead of just smoking because it is a cleaner delivery system. Unfortunately, you still have to inhale the vapor into your lungs the way you would if you were smoking and that was very difficult for me to do. My body doesn't want anything in my lungs so it would involuntarily close up. It took an embarrassing 5 tries to get a good inhalation.

I managed to get two good hits and it did get me high. My upper lip went numb and my head got that buzzed feeling. I felt relaxed and quickly got super tired. As far as treating my pain, well, it didn't. I liken it to an air freshener. If you are trying to cover up a bad smell with an air freshener you often just get scented stink (at least that's what happens when you have a great sense of smell). I still felt my pain, it was just a bit masked by the effects of the pot.

When the pot wore off, my pain got much worse. I believe it was that buzzed feeling in the head that made my pain go from bad to worse. That's why I don't drink alcohol of any kind anymore. It's not the drink, it's that buzzed feeling that always triggers my migraines.

Since we don't have any ability to get different kinds of pot around here that might be more appropriate for me, I guess my vaporizing days are over. Maybe someday Missouri will progress and I can try it again under more ideal conditions. As disappointed as I am that it didn't help me, I am glad for the opportunity to have tried it.

Whimsey Wednesday

Okay, I'm generally not a cute cat video kind of girl but I just need something super light and cute today. This one is both of those. Enjoy :)

Have a great day!

The Stink of Fresh Air

Back in the day I loved to throw open the windows and let the breeze pass through, bringing all the freshness and wonder of the outdoors in with it. It was great after a long frozen Minnesota winter or a hot humid summer to finally open things up and feel the changing of the seasons. It was a relief, it felt like a fresh start. It was energizing.

Throwing those windows open is no longer the great experience it used to be. The main reason, the great outdoors stink - literally smells bad. Now I can't actually smell the air (unless someone is creating a smell by smoking or whatever) but the "fresh" air seems to make everything it touches smell bad. Whenever we take our dog for a walk or run errands we return stinking. It's in our hair and in our clothes. Eventually the stink wears off but I don't care to smell that way every time I go outside.

I'm the kind of person who always has a glass of water by my side but for some reason whenever the windows are open the water will quickly take on the smell of wet dog making it undrinkable. Then if they stay open long enough I feel like that same stink will attach to my hair and clothes the way it does when I actually go outside.

What is going on? What happened to the magical freshness of the outdoors? I haven't enjoyed fresh air since leaving Minnesota - is it the location, living in a big metro area instead of a small city? Is it my migraines that have made me more sensitive to smells that have always been in the air?

Whatever happened, the days of throwing the windows open and experiencing all that wonderment are long gone. Our windows remain closed and, most of the time, the shades are drawn too. At least I have the vivid memories of what it was like back in the day. Memories, that I can call up any time I want.

A Small Weight Gain

Okay, I don't want to jinx it but I've actually gained a few pounds. At first I thought it might have been a fluke. It is not unheard of for me to swing up and down as much as 5 pounds over the course of a week or so. At least it wasn't unheard of before the all the nausea and pain started me on this path of weight loss. This time it actually seems to be sticking.

The change I made was a simple one, I've been eating 2 or 3 bowls of dry Cheerios every day for about a month. Yep, just plain old fashioned Cheerios. It was a small change but a very doable one because dry Cheerios can be consumed mindlessly while watching TV, they are bland enough to not aggravate my constant nausea and so far I haven't gotten sick of them. The perfect combination.

I'm still about 15 pounds away from my goal weight and I don't know that this addition of dry Cheerios will be enough to get me there but seeing that scale go up for the first time in years is so encouraging. Now I actually feel like my goal is attainable even if the pain and nausea remain all out of control.

The Style of Chronic Pain

Yesterday was day one of the house build. The ground is now broken and, if all goes well (knock on wood) then we'll be moving in sometime early December. Now that the clock has officially started I can think of little else besides design, style, color, blinds, curtains, rugs, appliances...basically all the details of making this house our home. I'm watching design shows and spending way too much time browsing for inspirational images on Pinterest.com. 

Since we won't be able to afford to do much to the house for a while after we move in and even then it will be one thing at a time, I want to be clear about the overall design direction we are headed in. Nothing worse than wasting money on stuff that won't work long term. This is really the first time I've ever put any energy into really figuring out my design style. In the past I've always just enjoyed playing with different styles and colors. Several different styles appeal to me so playing is just what made sense. 

As I look to define and create the perfect space for us, I can't deny that my chronic pain plays a big part. It has already informed many of the construction decisions we got to make. Now, as I sort through the finer details of the aesthetic and look to edit the stuff we already have, I see just how much chronic pain has also impacted my sensibilities. 

No matter how much I love the clean lines of contemporary spaces my pain makes me shy away in favor of warmer, softer spaces. No matter how much I love the details and craftsmanship of a Victorian space my pain makes me shy away in favor of a space that is easier to clean and less formal. No matter how much I love bold colors and playing with different designs my pain makes me shy away in favor of something more timeless because I just don't have the energy to keep changing things up anymore. 

Good thing I have such broad taste, otherwise it might be difficult to make these adjustments. On the flip side, defining my style would be so much more difficult to do if not for the chronic migraines and fibromyalgia. Wow, I may have just stumbled on the one upside of chronic pain.

While I have yet to truly define my style the new rules are as follows:

1. Everything in the space must be something we love.

2. Everything in the space must be beautiful and functional.

3. Less is more.

Thankfully hubby doesn't care much about these things so it is all in my hands. Thankfully for him I am not drawn to anything overtly feminine. 

Whimsey Wednesday

This is so funny: street pranks with a guy doing the the movie trailer voice.

Have a great day!

Labor Days

Hubby and I spent the entire Labor Day weekend looking for a couch for the new house. Our list of requirements for this purchase were simple enough: it needs to be comfortable, the back needs to be high enough that we could rest our heads on it, the bottom needs to be close enough to the ground that our little rabbit can't get under it and chew things, it needs to be made of fabric (no leather), it needs to be stationary and it needs to be a neutral tan or beige color. Considering the massive size of the furniture show rooms and the number of different show rooms around here I had full confidence that we could find just the right thing. 

Now you may be wondering what we are doing trying to buy a couch for a house that is still 3 months away from completion. Well, we have three big purchases to make between now and then (the couch being one of them). We've decided to space out our purchases to keep them more manageable. Plus, Labor Day weekend is always a great time to get good deals on furniture. 

We visited 5 showrooms. We walked up and down each isle sitting on all the couches that we thought might fit the bill. By the time we had made our way through ALL our options we hadn't found a single couch that fit all our requirements. 

Here's the thing, the vast majority of all stationary couches are not tall enough to support the head. The 3 (that's right, only 3) we found that were tall enough, low enough and comfortable enough, were all a really ugly, dirty looking, gray/blue color that we hated. Now, because we have a lap dog who spends all day on the couch we have been planning to buy a couch cover so we can keep it clean. That being said, I had hoped to some day not have to cover the couch, which is why I wanted it to be tan or beige. 

Unfortunately the perfect couch just doesn't exist. Since color was really the only area where we had some wiggle room, we ended up with one that that fit all the other requirements (that's it in the picture-the color was worse in person). We'll just have to always keep it covered. Despite making the one compromise I'm really pleased with the purchase. We got a good deal on a high quality couch that is migraine friendly and works for our family's lifestyle. Now we need to start researching appliances.