Friday, April 12, 2013

Migraines, Weekends, and Me

It all started on Wednesday. A big storm rolled through, the power went out, candles were lit and they flickered. The flickering triggered a nasty migraine, which continues to this very moment. My edges are frayed and I'm filling with anxiety about the coming weekend. We're supposed to go visit my in-laws on Saturday and we have another ballroom dance class on Sunday.

I want to do both but am fairly certain things won't turn around in time. I've had to bow out of the last couple of family get togethers so I feel like I can't do so again. Besides this is a very small gathering, just us and his parents. I can probably manage despite the pain with heavy medication, sunglasses and a hat. There won't be much recovery time on the other side because of that class on Sunday, which will require me to be on my feet and moving...

This is one of those times when it doesn't matter much what I do one day or the other. Chances are, no matter what, I'm just in the middle of a string of bad days. I could stay home all weekend and still just be soaking in this miserable pain. So I'll give it a try. Take it easy on myself but attempt to do whatever I can.

See, now I've worked it out logically in my brain. No matter, somehow I've managed to hang onto the anxious feeling...and while I'm not entirely sure how to shake it I've come up with a plan to try. See, the more time I spend focusing on what I know to be true the less time I have to obsess and feel anxious about all the what ifs and worst case scenarios of my imagination. So every time I begin to get anxious about it all I'm going to redirect myself to the knowledge that I've got this - no matter what happens I can manage this. If I have to leave early, or take it easy, or wear a ball cap to ballroom dance...I got this.

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