Thursday, January 23, 2014

The Wonders of Autonomy

Every now and then I get to thinking just how glad I am that I'm not a kid anymore. Being an adult is lots of work, comes with a lot of responsibilities and the stakes are often very high but I wouldn't trade any of it for the restrictions, hormones and lack of autonomy involved in being a kid.

Adulthood is like a grand reward for 18 years of putting up with crap. I will never again be forced to take another gym class (oh how I HATED gym class), go to bed, or come home at a time determined by someone, be told what I can and can't do by someone, or be forced to stop doing something I enjoy. Don't get me wrong, I usually make responsible adult decisions but they are my decisions: I eat pretty healthy, I try to get a good night sleep, I work out, I keep things as clean and tidy around the house as I can, I'm taking care of my business, etc.

However, from time to time, I get a wild hair and just want to eat cookies for dinner or waste a few hours in front of the TV. Of course, these days what I can and can't do is often dictated by my chronic migraines and fibromyalgia but these wild hairs predated the onset of both conditions and certainly have continued despite them. Having the autonomy to indulge in such whims, that only happened when I became an adult.

That's really what this is about, autonomy. No matter how many obligations I have or how many restrictions my illnesses thrust upon me, I still enjoy the ability to choose how I want to live. I might be in pain 24 hours a day, 7 days a week but I choose to still get up and do things. I choose to put a lot of effort into being positive and present when my hubby is home so we can maximize our time together. I choose to cook healthy vegetarian meals. I choose rest on the couch instead of getting back in bed. My days are full of choices and for that I am very thankful.

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