Tuesday, January 21, 2014

The Decision To Say No

I said no. I hemmed and hawed. I second, third and fourth guessed myself. I felt obligated and guilty but in the end I said no to a party being thrown for my husband's, cousin's 18th birthday. I had woke up with a migraine and never really got on top of the pain. I was having all kinds of cramps and feeling quite hormonal. I knew there would be screaming kids, loud conversations and there was no way I would be up to pretending like I was okay or making small talk with people I don't know.

The next morning we met up with hubby's parents to have some breakfast and they were telling us about how loud it was the night before at the party. They said the little kids were all running around, screaming and carrying on. They almost couldn't take it, which means it would have been a disaster for me. A disaster we drove 45 minutes one-way to attend. This conversation confirmed for me that I made the right decision.

It sounds obvious - the decision to not go. But boy, that feeling of obligation weighs on me so heavily when in the decision making process. All signs can point to me not being up to going someplace but if I feel obligated to go then the decision will be difficult to make. If I had gone I would have ruined what turned out to be pleasant, paced, 3 day weekend. I may not have felt great but I was able to get some stuff done and spend some quality time with hubby. A stark contrast to the bad decision I made to attend Thanksgiving dinner out of obligation.

I think having made the right decision this time and then having it confirmed by others has empowered me to it more. I need to do more of this sticking up for myself and making decisions that are in my best interest, even when it runs contrary to social protocol. Maybe this will be the year that I make the right decision more often. Who knows, maybe it will even get easier. A woman can hope.

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