Thursday, April 30, 2015

Pushing Myself and Paying the Price

My to-do-list is long. My natural instinct is attempting to convince me that I should make a plan and just get this stuff done, while my body and mind are trying to convince me to slow down and take it easy. Obviously, I know my body and mind are correct. As someone living with chronic migraines and fibromyalgia, I have no business trying to get so many projects and errands taken care of in such a short time. I know there will be a high price to pay for such unrestrained activity.

Clearly the right choice for my health/pain levels is to slow down and pace myself better but that's not the whole story. There are 3 complicating factors: 
1. We have outdoor projects that must get done in the spring when the temperature is reasonable. 
2. We have a major indoor painting project that needs to be done during a 4 week span of time between hubby's online classes. 
3. There is a big family function coming up so I'm getting ready for a house guest and the party. 

I'm doing what I can to plan ahead and pace myself but the sheer volume of stuff that needs to get done coupled with the time constraints makes it near impossible to slow down enough. I knew this spring would be tough because of these projects. I knew I would pay the price, that I would have more pain, nausea, brain fog, etc. And I was right. My whole body hurts. I'm having more migraines and am more exhausted than usual. Basically, all the usual crap I have to deal with is happening simultaneously and with high intensity. 

I know I should slow down but I'm having so much trouble making that choice. I'm rationalizing - telling myself it's okay to push myself for a relatively short, finite period of time in order to accomplish some projects that are important to me. Part of me wants to be mad at myself for knowingly making my daily struggle more difficult but I don't really have the energy to beat myself up about this. Plus, I'm not really sure I'm making a bad choice. 

Maybe I am, maybe I'm not. Maybe there is no right or wrong decision here. Do you ever push yourself in the short-term in order to accomplish a goal, knowing the physical price you will pay?

No comments:

Post a Comment