The Inevitable Unproductive "If Only"

Today started out okay. My pain was only about 5 and my other symptoms were low enough that I was feeling confident I would be able to do the 3 things on my to-do-list. Shortly after my shower things turned - quickly. 

My pain is now widespread and increasing fast. I'm laying on the couch, about to take my rescue meds and hopefully sink into a therapeutic nap. Maybe if I play my cards right I can salvage the 2nd half of the day, however unlikely the possibility. 

If only I could will or work myself into feeling better...

If only I could function normally...

If only I didn't have to deal with my chronic pain every single day...

While I can't help but think about the "if only" scenarios, I'm very aware how unproductive it is to spend much time dwelling of them. The inescapable truth is, I have chronic migraines and fibromyalgia. My life is complicated and challenging but so are all lives. Beyond the complications and challenges I have many blessings so when I find myself thinking "if only" I try to replace it with gratitude for all the good stuff. 

It doesn't take long to realize the good stuff far outnumbers the bad stuff. 

And, as an added bonus, being in that frame of mind makes coping easier.