Friday, September 7, 2012

Migrainista Explains It - Sort Of

Inevitably the questions get asked. What do you do? How are you feeling? Are your migraines better yet? Responding to these questions is always a bit tricky but over the years I've settled into a pattern. Most people fall into one of three categories: people I don't know who I either won't see again or won't see much of again, people who are in my life but really don't want the details, and people who are close friends or family who are sincerely interested.

Each category gets a different response. With people I don't know or rarely see I just glaze over my situation and give the most superficial responses. With people who are really in my life but clearly don't want the details will get honest but fairly superficial responses. Those close friends and family who are really interested will get the most details as these are the only ones who really want to hear it. 

Learning the difference has taken some time both for me and for others. 

The place I am most open is online as Migrainista. It is here on my blog/facebook/twitter accounts that I've really opened up and have been as honest as possible. The support and sharing from you all has been such a blessing for me. It helps me to feel less odd and alone in all the craziness that is chronic migraines and fibromyalgia. After all, truly explaining this madness is very difficult.


  1. Chronic illness is hard to explain to anyone who doesn't understand. It also doesn't help that we can appear fine one day, and be totally wiped out the next. How do you explain that??? Close friends and family are the only ones who get it. I've played the superficial answer game, too. It works very well.

    Then there are the people who think they know just what you need....oh, those people.

  2. I do the same as you. I can only be the most open online. With anyone else I get looked at like I have 2 heads (imagine double the pain) or the glazed over look of the non-interest or the comments of "oh, but you don't look sick". So to the outside world it's why bother, you talk until your blue in the face and they never get it. It's most sad when your only family who is suppose to be your biggest support system doesn't get it or they get tired of hearing about it.

    And as Della put it, the know-it-all's who have all the answers but forgot to put the MD behind their names. LOL. Oh yes, THOSE people. They're everywhere. Lord help us.

  3. Helpful to have you write about this, as even with close friends sometimes I am tempted to just say, "oh, getting better in general, not so good this week," and keep it at that. I appreciate compassion, but until someone has been in your shoes, they don't get it. It's hard to see the woeful eyes, or so it seems somedays.