I Am Who I Am

It's not how I was brought up. It's not very modern. It's not the feminist way. But the truth is I don't have any desire to be in charge, to climb any kind of corporate ladder, or even be an entrepreneur. Chronic pain or no, I am just not built that way. Deep inside I am a supporter. I am at my best when I am the woman behind the scenes, organizing, coordinating, dotting i's and crossing t's. Don't get me wrong, I do like to have some control and autonomy but in a supportive role.

The jobs that have been the most fulfilling for me is when supporting others was central to my work. That's probably why I spent so many years working for nonprofit organizations. And I imagine that's why I've found so much fulfillment from my unexpected role as a housewife. Who better to support and build up than my wonderful husband and fur babies?

This line of thinking is taboo in my family and so it's not something I have ever expressed. In fact I spent years trying to deny it and trying to be something I wasn't. Despite knowing it in my heart, I've only really admitted it myself openly for the past few months. I feel liberated standing in this truth. More than that, I feel like it gives me a sense of calm about the future. Come what may, at least now I am fully aware of what I need from my work, no matter if that work is at home or out in the world.