New Year's Eve For Migraineurs

Apparently you are supposed to party on New Year's Eve. At least that's what we are told by people on TV. We should dress up, go out, drink a lot of alcoholic beverages and dance up until 10 seconds before midnight, when we join everyone in the final countdown to the new year. 10, 9, 8...all leading to "Happy New Year", a lip lock and singing of Auld Lang Syne. Does anyone really even know all the words to that song? 

I don't know who has that kind of New Year's Eve but I'm pretty sure none of them have chronic migraines or fibromyalgia. Everything about the traditional NYE celebration is a trigger: big group of people, wearing uncomfortable dress clothes and shoes, alcohol, the din of music/party goers, standing for hour, making small talk with people and staying up past midnight. Sure, sometimes I'm up around midnight but only because I woke up and couldn't get back to sleep. 

No, I prefer to treat NYE much like any other night. Hubby and I will eat, cuddle on the couch to watch a movie or some Netflix. We'll both be struggling to stay awake and will likely start our bedtime rituals at some point during the 9pm hour. I will fall asleep well hydrated and looking forward to spending the entire next day with Hubby, who has the day off from work. Much like all other days, my goal is to minimize the amount of pain I'm in. 

The new year will come. I'll see it in the morning and every morning for the following year. 

20 Most Popular Posts of 2014

With 2014 quickly coming to a close I thought it would be nice to take a look back at the most popular posts of the year. Here are the 20 most viewed posts in order. Here's your chance to catch any posts you may have missed or reread your favorites.

1. 4 Aggrevating Symptoms of Brain Fog

2. True Blackout Window Coverings for Migraines and Light Sensitivities

3. More Misinformation on Migraines from Dr. Oz

4. New Friendships in a Time of Chronic Pain

5. A Review of Axon Optics Theapuetic Eyewear

6. Some Items that Comfort Instead of Aggrevate my Chronic Pain

7. Stylish Shoes and Fibromyalgia Don't Mix

8. Does Having a Type A Personality Impact my Chronic Pain

9. 5 Tips for Surviving the Mall in December with Chronic Pain

10. Wish Everyone Knew This About Migraines

11. Living Despite Chronic Migraines

12. Being a Chronic Pain Misfit

13. The Toll Chronic Migraines and Fibromyalgia Have Taken on my Sense of Self and How it Impacts the Way I am Treated

14. The Whirlwind Doctor Appointment

15. Misunderstanding the Difference Between Giving Up and Accepting Life With Chronic Pain

16. How I Manage to Hold on During Times of Despair

17. Crazy Migraine Cure Claim From Gold's Gym

18. 30 Things You May Not Know About My Invisible Illness

19. I Wish I Could Take a Vacation From Chronic Pain

20. Body Language and Health Care

Post Christmas

I hope that you-all had a wonderful Christmas with your loved ones.

I was lucky enough to emerged from a long stretch of migraines just in time to participate in both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day festivities. Now I need to rest up and prepare to see more family this weekend. 

Feeling No Pressure Going Into Christmas Eve and Christmas Day - For Once

With all of our Christmas shopping and wrapping done, hubby and I happily spent the past 3 days celebrating his birthday. Having a birthday just a few days before Christmas can be tough so it's important to me to go out of my way to do special things for him. This year it seemed especially important because last year his big day was almost entirely eclipsed by the move. Then I somehow managed to burn dinner that night - something I never do. I blame it on the new stove and the new pan I was using.

The long weekend was great. There was nothing to do but be together. He didn't have any work or homework. We didn't have any errands to run or projects to do. I made him some baked treats and we just enjoyed ourselves. 

Only, I didn't feel good. With the help of my rescue meds, I managed pretty well through half the day, each day but then had to slow down and stick close to the couch. Thankfully, hubby happily joined me for some Netflix and naps. 

Migraines have intruded on every day for the past 10 days at varying times and with varying severity. Everything worked out pretty well as we celebrated hubby's long birthday weekend but it only worked out as well as it did because we were close to home. We had complete control over what we did and when we did it. With Christmas just 2 days away I'm starting to wonder if this cycle will break in time or not. 

Obviously, I never know from one day to the next how I will feel and at what level I'll be able to function. That's just a given. What I do know is that I won't be able to handle much of our holidays plans if I don't see a change in how I've been feeling for the past 10 days. 

The good news is that I don't really feel much pressure this year to push myself, or to beat myself up about how I feel. This is a first for me. Hubby and I have talked about our plans for Christmas Eve and Christmas and we have agreed that it's not a big deal. We'll go and do what we can but if I'm not doing well, we can leave. He doesn't mind and that truly has freed me. 

Still, I do hope to feel well enough to enjoy the festivities. 

Chronic Pain In the Movies

You may have seen some of the press for the upcoming movie "Cake" with Jennifer Aniston. She plays a woman who lives with chronic pain and is addicted to painkillers. Now the movie hasn't yet been released in the states but it was seen at the Toronto International Film Festival earlier this year.

Naturally, I'm pretty curious about the film as I imagine many of you, who live with chronic pain, are. How will Hollywood portray someone like us? Will it be more about her additions than about her pain? How will audiences and critics respond to it? I can hardly wait to find out. Of course, I'll still wait until it comes out on Netflix to actually see it as my chronic migraines make going to the movies difficult.

In the meantime I've been reading the reviews that have been written. Most of what I've read has been negative. People don't like the portrayal, the direction, the story, the main character. As I'm reading all this I can't help but wonder if the critics are saying they don't like these things because it's an accurate presentation of the ugliness of chronic pain and they don't understand that because they don't have chronic pain -OR- if it just isn't well done. I suppose it could go either way. 

Obviously, the hope is that it'll be accurate and raw and honest. That people will see it and, even if only for a few days, have a little more empathy and a better understanding of what living with chronic pain does a person. Even as I write this I am thinking to myself, that's a lot to ask of a Hollywood film. Aw heck, I'll go ahead and hope anyway. 

Whimsy Wednesday

Another great Christmas clip - this time from Christmas Vacation. The cousin Eddie character is always good for a laugh. 

Have a great day!

How I Plan To Stop Allowing The Judgement Of Others To Poison Me

I think I've stumbled on a common chronic pain hurdle. Somehow over the past few years I've become super aware of how others see me and my chronic pain. I've allowed myself to take in all kinds of fear about being judged, misunderstood and not believed. The truth is all of those things are happening but there is absolutely nothing I can do about it no matter how much I hate it. And trust me, I hate it a whole lot.

The trouble is, being so aware is harming me. I'm suffering 4 times over. First from the chronic pain, then from the judgement, then from being so aware of the judgement, then again as I beat myself up and feel miserable about being judged and such.

When it comes down to it, my life is very different from the norm. Lots of people won't ever get that. I just need to stop allowing myself to be poisoned by how others react to me. No good can come from that. Instead I need to focus on just being me and doing what I need to do to be okay.

Here is how I plan to do that.
1. Catch myself whenever I start taking in judgment from others.
2. Remind myself that this is not reality.
3. Refocus my attention on something more positive.
4. Repeat. I don't know about you, but I tend to recycle negative thoughts in my head so I'm sure I'll have to continually go through the first 3 steps until I get better at letting the negativity of others roll off my back.

I believe in doing this I will be able to let go of the frustration and anger that results from constantly feeling like people are either judging me harshly or completely misunderstanding me and my chronic pain. These feelings are heavy and I'm pretty darn sick of carrying them around all the time.