Thank You Thursday

Dear Workmen,

You have been drilling, banging, beeping and creating general ugliness right next door for 2 weeks now. I can't seem to tell how close you are to finishing up over there but I know you are headed here next where surely the dust and din will be louder still. Then you'll be onto the condo on the other side. I shudder to think about how long you will be disrupting my days.

I know, I know. The work you are doing is necessary and I'm glad it's being done. I just wish it could have been done before we moved in. You see, all that noise and smoking you think nobody can see you doing is super hard on my head. Not to mention I have no intention of picking up your spend cigarette trash when you are done. Trust me I will be watching.



Dear Brown Recluse Spiders,

I'm coming for you. The bug man will be by in a few days. The glue traps will be set. And all holes will be plugged. You dirty, creepy, insidious, dangerous selves will have to move into someone elses unit. Preferably the smokers next door, but really anyplace else is okay by me. We will not tolerate your presence here. Period.




Dear Migraine,

I'm putting you on notice. My mom will be here in less than a week. Do what you need to right now but know that I expect you to be at least a little cooperative during her stay so we can do some fun stuff. That's not asking for too much, is it?

If memory serves me, you were quite ornery during her last visit, which neither of us appreciated. I'm not asking to let me stay out all day each day she's here. Just allow me to do something fun with her each day. If you cooperate with me, I'll cooperate with you and take it easy each day.

Promise.