Hope is More of a Roller Coaster For Me #MHAMBC

The blog challenge prompt for today is: Put yourself in the place of the phoenix and describe your rise from the ashes.

I don't really experience hope in that way. I see the phoenix rising from the ashes as a rebirth of sorts. A coming through the tough stuff stronger and better than before. Even after more than 9 years of living with chronic migraines I still have really tough times when I'm barely hanging onto my sanity. Times when hope is nothing more than a wish for some relief from the relentless, punishing symptoms.

Yes, for me, hope is more of a roller coaster. It waxes and wanes. It ebbs and flows. It comes and goes.

It's easy to feel hopeful when my pain level is low and I'm able to manage my symptoms with lifestyle stuff. It's harder when I'm taken down by the pain, brain fog, nausea and other symptoms. It seems impossible when I'm more than 10 days into a migraine that just won't let up or when people around me are being intolerant.

I certainly feel like chronic migraines have shattered some of my dreams and I hope one day I'll be more at peace with that. I don't know that I'll ever feel like the phoenix rising from the ashes unless my migraines cease. But who knows what the future holds.

The Migraine and Headache Awareness Month Blog Challenge is organized by the American Headache and Migraine Association.