No matter how hard I work to control my environment, avoid my triggers and take care of myself, I actually have almost no control over my chronic migraines and fibromyalgia. Any time either of them decide to pick a fight with me, I find myself quickly overwhelmed and completely at their mercy. They win every time. They don't care what my plans were or how much needs to get done. They just show up and start torturing me - never indicating how long they plan to continue.
My poor body has endured 9 years of intense physical and emotional abuse from these two terrorists.
Yeah, yeah. I work hard to stay positive, I have lots of blessing, I am making the most out of this bad situation - blah blah blah. All that is true but I'm also frustrated and pretty darn annoyed by the constant battle to try to feel semi-okay. It's pretty messed up that feeling semi-okay is what success looks like in my life.
This dichotomy can be confusing to experience and almost impossible to explain to others.