Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Migrainista and Friend

We all know that close friendships are very important, maybe even more so during difficult times. No doubt living with chronic migraines qualifies as an extended difficult time. But in addition to making friendships important living with these kinds of chronic pain conditions also seems to have a way of shining a bright light on your relationships. At least this is what I've noticed in my own life.

The thing is that I have limited time and energy so it has become imperative for me to evaluate everything in my life and decide what is worth my limited resources and what is not. Friendships are a big part of that. I've been incredibly blessed to have some really high quality friends in my life. Friends who knew me before all of this pain and crap came along. Friends who love me, appreciate me, and still look at me and treat me like I'm the same person I used to be. To say that this is a blessing is a huge understatement.

Unfortunately, all the moving around we have done has meant that these beloved friends live and work many many many miles away from where we live. I missed having regular face to face contact with them greatly over the past several years, especially since I've also been struggling so much with all this pain. Fortunately, we have been able to maintain our friendships despite the distance. Those treasured close friendships have remained largely unchanged.

The real changes have been with acquaintances and with new friendships. Before chronic migraines I was a social butterfly. I was someone who was energized by social events and had many lovely acquaintances that I enjoyed a great deal. These days I am completely drained by social events and just don't have any interest in expending my valuable energy on acquaintances. I love my family and my close friends. They are now the exclusive recipients of all my social time and energy, which basically means that I am not currently investing in new friendships.

The day will likely come when I have some energy to put into developing new friendships. I recognize that it would be nice to have one or two close friends who live near me. Right now just isn't that time. Right now I need to focus on bringing more balance into my life. What's interesting is that I'm in no hurry. I'm certain that when the time is right, the right person or person(s) will come into my life and accept me for who I am, even though they didn't know the old me. Besides, I live with my best friend (my husband) and I get to see him and spend time with him every day. I am indeed a blessed Migrainista.


  1. I totally get this. All of my friends live far away, and I didn't make new friends when we moved. So, right now, the only friends I have that I really talk to (through blogging) are my online friends. Fortunately, my husband is my best friend, too.

    The day will come when you will feel like making new friends. I think we are just less interested in one on one contact from dealing with our everyday (chronic) lives for so long. You are a blessed Migrainista, and I am blessed to have met you through our blogs!

  2. I feel so blessed to have met you through our blogs too, Della! I do miss your blog :) Thank you so much for all of your support and kindness!