A Specific Hope

I've spent a good part of today preparing for my upcoming appointments at Mayo. Time with the doctors will be short so I'm doing a great deal of preparations to maximize this time. Part of that was trying to understand what's going on with my tempromandibular joint. I started by learning about the anatomy of the joint, which allowed me to sort of understand the copy of the radiologist's report on the TMJ MRI that I have, though I still don't know what it means. Then I spent some time looking at the different disorders and treatments options.

The more I learned about the tempromandibular disorders the more convinced I got that my jaw issues could very well be the cause of my frequent migraines. This makes me even more hopeful about my trip even if it means surgery and a longer stay - away from my husband and home. I like having a specific hope. For the past several years I've mostly felt hopeful that we'll be able to turn this cycle of pain around. But this generic hope that I get my life back somehow, someday just isn't the same galvanizing hope that I feel as I learn how many of my symptoms are indicative of a specific issue with a specific solution.

Even if it doesn't work out I'm glad for the time now with my specific hope. It just feels good.