I had my endoscopy yesterday afternoon. She didn't find any ulcers, thankfully, but did observe inflammation in my esophagus, stomach and small intestines. She took biopsies of all of them and I'm to call in a couple week to inquire about my results.
I have more problems with how this all went down than I want to even get into.
Ultimately, we still don't know what is going on. I sure hope the biopsies will provide some answers so that I can get to feeling better.
One thing is clear, I am an anxious person. Even though the procedure is common, and unlikely to create problems I've managed to worry about it extensively. I've been worried that I'm bleeding from the biopsies. I've been worried that they have punctured a hole somewhere along the line and food, water and bile is leaking into the stomach's cavity. I'm worried about my insurance deciding not to cover it. I'm worried about the problem persisting. The list does go on, but you get the idea.
My husband got an offer for that job in St. Louis on May 2nd. The pay wasn't good but the company is offering to pay our moving expenses. He started negotiating with them but his contact needed to check on some details with the corporate office and get back to him. That was on the 5th. Today is the 18th and except for an email apologizing for the slow response more than a week ago they still haven't gotten back to him. We went ahead and put in our notice, right away at the apartment complex as no matter what they counter we will be accepting and moving back. Because of this I canceled my appointment with my neuro here and was able to set something up with Dr Garza at Mayo. But now that appt is less than 3 weeks away and I will have to push it back. But the thing is, I really need to see him. Things have been changing and I need help.
I'm so stressed and frustrated that it is taking so long for these folks to get back to us. We're again in this torturous limbo. And it is not torturous because we have to wait, but because I have real issues that need to be addressed and the longer this goes on the longer I have to wait. What is going on with them that it takes this kind of time to work out the very small details that they are working on. Basically all they had to do was find out exactly what the policies are and communicate them to us. The negotiations are basically over, this is clarifying details only.
I'm tempted to keep my appt at Mayo and let my husband deal with the move if it comes to that. His parents are going to come out and help and we plan to hire some moving men to just load the truck as we are 3 stories up, I'm not much help and his parents are not young. They don't need me to help supervise the cross country caravan. Then I can drive down to St Louis once they arrive and help look for an apartment.
Between the frustration of this continued limbo and the blues and anxiety I'm feeling anyway I am having trouble mustering up much excitement about the move. No doubt I'm thrilled to be leaving northern Virginia and to be moving back to the midwest. I can't wait to be under the care of competent doctors and institutions. Being able to see family and friends more often is going to be really good for me. But I hear the lack of enthusiasm in my voice when I talk about it.
What to do?